Thursday, October 21, 2010

Hot Piece of Ass

I thought my husband married me for my intelligence…or maybe even my cooking. As it turns out I was just a nice piece of ass, and I gave him a nice glimpse of it before our courtship even began. You’ve probably guessed which Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop I am writing about: wardrobe malfunction.

New to the area, I met my husband at a local business mixer. We were both attending to promote our respective businesses; mine a bed and breakfast, and his an outdoor adventure business. I invited him to my house next day so we could talk “packaging” (in reality, there was only one package of his I was really interested in *wink wink*).

In anticipation of his visit I made sure wear a cute, yet understated, outfit. I knew right away what I wanted: St. John’s Bay blue skirt and a simple white tee shirt. I watched in anticipation as the hot adventurer pulled into the drive, and I waited eagerly at the front door for him. I let him in the house and offered a tour. I was so proud of my business venture. I took him through all the rooms of the bed and breakfast; detailing the history of the house, all the while giving him the low-down on me (letting him know in so many words, I was SINGLE!)

Everything went great!! Before he left he offered to be my “personal tour guide,” and I was ecstatic! I ran upstairs to change into my “clean the house clothes.” I passed the full length mirror in my room, and that’s when I caught a glimpse of it…the back of my skirt, where it’s supposed to be zipped, was split. The zipper was compromised and my underwear (blue lace thong) and butt crack were exposed to the world, namely my hot suitor. It’s no wonder he was so giddy his entire visit. It wasn’t because I was witty, beautiful and what-not…it’s because he was trying to hold his laughter in at the sight of my exposed ass.

Lucky me, he made good on his offer as a personal tour guide, and called two days later to ask me to dinner…he moved in two months later, and the rest is history. At one point, I did confront him about the exposed butt snafu of 2006…but still, to this day, he denies that he followed me up the stairs resisting the urge to touch my crack, or that he ever saw any part of my underwear until many weeks later(*wink wink*)…

**Not my actual butt, however this is a close representation of my wardrobe malfunction.

5 comments:

The High Family said...

This story cracked me up! Ugh, my face and stomach hurt and I can't stop laughing! You never told us this story before!!!! LOL

kaybee said...

That's pretty funny. It could have been so much worse, at least you were wearing sexy underwear... :)

parentingBYdummies said...

He didn't even see it?! Well, at least you know it was your inner awesome that reeled him in. Or that's what he wants you to think anyway:)

Holly said...

That is a cute story. At least you had on cute undies!

The Lady's Lounge said...

Sure... play innocent, like you didn't plan the whole thing.