Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Comment Sensitivity

I started this blog to mostly take part in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshops...I was always a reader of Mama Kat's, and I wasn't able to participate due to the family blog being private. It's kind of ironic that the family blog is private, and yet none of my family knows about this blog.

At any rate, one of the prompts from MKWW instructed us to write about a journal entry from an old journal. I got a few comments on the post, as I usually do for MKWW, however I don't think that my feelings were correctly interpreted in the post.

Here is the post:

really really! no really!

When I was thirteen I lived with my Dad. My parents were still “married” but my mom was living in another state attending law school. At thirteen, I thought it was just that, it never entered my mind that my parents were actually separated and didn’t tell me. So my mother wouldn’t lose touch with me, she bought us both journals. We traded journals whenever we saw each other, about once a month. We both wrote in our journals every night before bed. Once we traded journals we could go back and read what the other person had been writing. It’s strange thinking back on that time in my life. My mom was only 2 years older than I am now. At 30 I know the truth and the circumstances behind my parents divorce, and it gives me a whole new perspective. At any rate, I don’t know what ever became of those journals, maybe my mom still has them, or maybe I threw them out. If I were to open one of those journals today I think the entry would read something like this:

Sometime in 1992…
Hi Mom,
I wish that you didn’t have to go back to law school this week. I really really really miss you! It was really nice having you here this weekend. I know you said it would only be three years, but I just can’t wait for it to be over! I really don’t like my math teacher, he is so boring, it’s even worse that he’s my homeroom teacher too. I really think that I wouldn’t mind living with you, I think it could be fun trying a new school, but I guess I understand why I have to live here. I really can’t wait to see you again, only 26 more days until you visit again. Well that’s all for tonight, I am tired I guess, I’ll write more tomorrow. Marbles says “meow”

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo, ME

I think the hardest part in reading the comments was that the main consensus was: "wow, how great that your mother found a way for you two to keep in touch." When in reality I was actually really hurt by the fact that at the age of 10 my mother moved away and shirked all of her parenting responsibilities off on my father. For me it was a hard time in my life...going through puberty with a father who was very hands off, and me trying everything I could to get my mother to accept me. In the end, I never really understood what my mother was going through and dealing with in her own troubled mind, I probably never will. I guess my point in revisiting this post is that I wanted to clarify my feelings about it all. In future blogposts I hope I can express myself better so readers know where I am coming from.

This is the Second Post in the SITS "get back to blogging and jump start your blog" challenge that is happening all week long. To sweeten the deal, the event is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar, and Florida Builder Appliances, and someone may even get to take Thelma and Louise(a washer and dryer--not the movie) home with them!


Mariah said...

Funny because I see it your way! I did not read this and think wow your mom is awesome:) That is a major disappointment. What a unique situation to be in and I am glad you shared it SITSta!! Have a great day and be better because of it all:)

Karen Peterson said...

I definitely saw things your way. But maybe that's because I understand exactly where you're coming from. My parents were secretly separated for almost a year before they got divorced. I kind of understand it now, 25 years later. Kind of, but not entirely.

I'm stopping in from the SITS Back 2 Blogging Challenge. So glad I stopped by!

Charlene said...

Reading it the way it was originally worded, I think I would have interpreted the way most of your commenters did--that your mom found a way to keep in touch long-distance. Your additional comments now definitely put a different spin on it.